Day 26,27,28,29 Where Did the Time Go?

I feel like I have LIVED on an ambulance the last few days. Friday I had the busiest shift EVER.... as in 25 calls in 24 hours. It was CRAZY! Whew... then after about 40 minutes of sleep I packed everything up and headed to another station to finish my 48 hour shift. Why do trades always seem like a good idea at the time I do them, and are so bad when it comes time to actually work them? I guess a long time ago back in August I enjoyed a day off I had to pay back this crazy weekend. And by crazy I mean INSANE! I ran almost 40 calls in 2 days! Then came home yesterday, crashed until almost noon, ran some errands, came home and was totally worthless. I didnt want to do anything!! And all Madalyn wanted to do was play with me, and I felt so bad because I was WAY too tired to do that!

Friday morning she broke my heart when I took her to Nana Swanson's to drop her off.... she cried! When I handed her over she reached back out to me and said "mammmmaaaaa" and cried! I about broke down myself.... and I had to leave her like that! My own mom said she was just trying to make me feel guilty (mission accomplished! it worked!)

So today I was prepared for the worst... and when Nana opened the door she yelled "Nana!!" and was all excited. So that made me feel better....

And today I am back at work, and realized quickly why I need 2 days off in between shifts.... my patience is nill when I am tired.

I should be sleeping.. usually I wait until 2 am for sleep (when the bars close.) I hate getting up and down...

It's COLD here BTW..... I can see my breath! I was actually shivering on our last call! Maybe its winter?! All I know is that Madalyn might have to rethink her costume for Friday if this weather keeps up! ;)

Day 3: When God Closes A Door....

ALSO KNOWN AS "WE ARE TRULY BLESSED!"

If you had spoken to me last Monday you would have witnessed me about as low as I have been in a long time. I felt like we had hit a brick wall, an ending, a dead end. Shawn has been in the job search now since January with nothing promising on the horizon. Every time we thing something will pan out it fizzles as soon as we start to get excited about it. For about a month he was doing handyman stuff at Aquatropics (our saltwater fish store) and during that time I took the extra money we had and tried to pay off some bills (I should have set it aside for a rainy day!) Just as quickly, the revenue at the store dropped thanks to our wonderful economy. (apparantly people dont see saltwater fish as a necessity!) So just as quickly Shawn ended up with less hours and less pay, so cthat didnt quite pan out the way we wanted.

So back to last Monday. It was the most stressed I had been about everything. My job just doesnt make enough to cover the bills right now (thanks to the increase in gas, and a $200 increase in our utilities over the last year!)So I have been praying for some sort of job, something that would allow him to make enough money where we can at least pay all the bills!

In the midst of all of this, Shawn's car has broken down, so we have been sharing mine. He has been driving me back and forth to work every day and we have been planning as many things as we can per trip to save gas. His car has sat for awhile, waiting on a "friend" to come and help us fix it. I say the word "friend" here loosely, because Shawn has done a lot of work for him with the understanding if we needed any work done on the Jeep he would be here to help him with the car.

Well, after nine weeks of waiting for the guy to come fix the Jeep, we finally had it towed to a mechanic. And the news was not good. It was going to be $2000 to rebuild the transmission. Money that we did not have, but Shawn needed a car if he was going to get a job. It was a sad day in the Swanson house. Then Monday morning Shawn met his mother at the mechanic to have AAA tow the car back to our house, which was to be its final resting place. I felt as low as I can remember feeling, not knowing which way to turn. And I just asked God, please show us as way out of this. We have done all we can, now its time for You to intervene....