Day 2: How I Got To "Who" I Am

**** WARNING EXTREMELY LONG POST!****

I recently had to write an essay for my developmental psychology class about how I knew what I wanted to do with my life... if I even knew at all. This is an exerpt from it, and something I had been planning to share on this blog for some time but had never gotten the opportunity to put it into words.


...Then came the event that changed my life. I know this seems cliché, but it was as if a higher power was showing me the frivolity of my life. I think it all started on September 11th, 2001, when two planes hit the World Trade Center. I am sure this was a monumental day in the lives of many Americans and others across the globe, but it set the wheels in motion that lead me to become who I am today. After the terrorist attacks, I began to see how fragile life is and how vulnerable our way of life can be. I started thinking about school, and my endless changing of majors, and I decided that it was time to focus on something in particular. I picked sports management, and I threw myself headfirst into classes, afterschool events, and marketing opportunities. In the early months of 2002 I worked at the NBA All Star weekend in Philadelphia, then made contacts that lead me to a job interview with the NBA. As soon as I graduated with my Bachelors degree I was planning to work in the marketing department of the NBA. My life was beginning to take shape.
Then came the day in mid march that truly changed my life. After all of my hard work in school, I rewarded myself with a trip to the beach with my best friend Kristina. It was a day filled with sun and sand, laughter and relaxation, and a killer rip current. We were sitting on the beach when we noticed the crowd gathered around a spot about a quarter of a mile away. I stood on the tailgate of Kristina’s truck and saw a man lying lifeless on the beach.
I don’t remember much of what happened, but I do know that I knew I had to get to that man. I sprinted down the beach to where he was, realizing quickly that he was not breathing and did not have a pulse. He was foaming at the mouth, and I knew that he was a drowning victim. Seven years of lifeguard training took over, and I began CPR on the man. I continued until the police arrived, and the ambulance, and while the paramedics tried to shock the man I stood and watched, mesmerized. They loaded him into the ambulance, and left for the hospital. And his young daughter stood by and watched, asking me “Is Daddy going to be okay?” I didn’t know what to tell her.
The man later died, I learned. Kristina and I left the beach , pulling over twice for me to vomit on the ride home. I was sick over it. The phone call came from the man’s friend, informing me that he had been put on life support at the hospital until his wife could get there to say goodbye. Suddenly everything I knew to be real was turned around, and the path I laid out seemed so silly. I was going to work for marketing for a sport where the players make millions of dollars for playing a game. It seemed so superficial, so inconsequential. I knew that God had put me on Earth to do something more, I just didn’t know what that something more was.
I missed two days of classes trying to sort something out. I still couldn’t shake the memory of that little girl watching the ambulance bounce down the beach, carrying her father and her looking at me, asking if he would be okay. It haunted me. I felt like I was carrying the ghost of that man with me until I decided how I could honor him. On the third day of missed classes, my favorite professor called me into his office. I told him what had happened, and how I was trying to sort through it all. And he gave me the advice that changed my life.
He sent me away. He told me to leave Gainesville, leave Florida even, and I would figure out what I was meant to contribute here. He mentioned ocean rescue, a great summer job opportunity that could take what I already knew and turn it into a lucrative summer job outside of Florida. I did a web search for ocean rescue jobs, and found several on the Eastern Seaboard. But it was the job in Corolla, North Carolina on the Outer Banks that called my name.
Six weeks later I loaded most of my belongings into my car, and drove to North Carolina for my tryout. I had been training for the rigorous physical testing for the past six weeks, but I wasn’t certain that I would be able to make it under the desired times. I passed the swimming well under the time limit, but was a minute over the mile run along the beach that came right after the swim. In my heart I knew that this was what I was meant to do, so I practiced every day for a week, and the day of the next tryout a week later I was thirty seconds under the time. I knew that if I put my mind and my heart into it, I would succeed. I was finally being challenged and getting an opportunity to prove myself in ways that school and social life never had.
I lived in a house one block from the ocean and left all of the frivolities behind. I lived without a good cell phone signal, without convenient internet access, without my friends and my family. I shared a small bedroom with another lifeguard, and lived in a beach house with 20 other lifeguards. I made friends that were like family to me for that summer, and I physically challenged myself each and every day. And that was where I learned who I was meant to be.
As a lifeguard I worked for the fire department. And I watched as the tones went off, the bay doors went up, and the trucks responded to those who needed them. There were no biases, no judgments, just people helping people. My heart told me that this was who I was meant to become. A paramedic firefighter. I was meant to help those who needed me by showing up at their most desperate hour and being there for them. I knew nothing of the training or the education I would need, but I knew that this was the path that God had laid out for me.
At the conclusion of the summer I packed my things back into my car, kissed my summer boyfriend goodbye, and drove back to Gainesville a wiser woman. No longer was I the lost child who didn’t know who she was and what she was to become, but that summer away taught me that I was incredibly strong both physically and emotionally, and that if it was something I wanted badly enough I could make it happen. My parents certainly didn’t understand why I was willing to throw away 4 years of a college education and a job with the NBA to become a blue collar worker, but I knew that this was my calling.
I enrolled in the first EMT class I could and finished at the top of my class. I then attended Paramedic school and again graduated with honors. Every spare second I had I spent volunteering with the local fire departments, immersing myself in learning everything I could about fire rescue. I then went to fire school and spent the most grueling twelve weeks of my life dirty, sore, and burned. It was funny to think that just a year previously I had been the prissy girl who got weekly manicures and didn’t leave the house without makeup. The day I graduated from fire school was proudest day in my life. I remember thinking that all of the hard work and pain was worth it, and I had proven to myself and everyone else that I could really do something if I set my mind to it.
Fast forward five years and I am now a Lieutenant with the County’s fire department. I get to help those who need me, and I have truly achieved my dreams. Not a day goes by that I don’t remember that man who had to unfortunately lose his life for me to realize the potential of mine.
This is who I am, and how I got here. Now I am a wife, and a mother, and I look forward to the days when Madalyn begins to want to challenge herself, and when she looks at the world of opportunities that lay before her. I hope that she will say to herself at that time "wow if my Mom made it as a firefighter, I can do absolutely anything." I hope, if nothing else, that I can teach my daughter to be a strong, independent woman, as my mother taught me.

Day 1- Reading to Allie

Madalyn truly loves two things more than anything else. Reading books, and her doggies. The kid carries around her cardboard books all day, and when the dogs lie on the floor she sits right next to them and procedes to "read" them stories. She really tries to read. She can often be seen pointing at things in her books and trying to tell the dogs what they are. Today she grabbed a magazine off a shelf and went to lay with Allie on her dog bed to read.




I know she is too young to read, but it is so hilarious how Madalyn can identify her books. I think the best is how she "reads"
Mr Brown Can Moo . She calls it the "moo" book. The other day she opened to the thunder page, pointed and said "BOOM." So cute.

By the way she knows lots of animal noises. She can say "moo" for cow, "woof woof" for doggie, "meow" for kitty, "tweet tweet" for birdie, "neigh" for horsie, and "quack quack" for duck. She knows lots of body parts too! She can show you her hair, head, eyes, ears, nose, tongue (Shawn's favorite to see her stick her tongue out!) mouth, teeth, boobies, belly, belly button, knee, shoulders, toes, fingers.... and I am sure I am missing one....

365 Days of Blogging

So, I have been thinking. I neglect this blog entirely too much. In an effort to chronicle the events of our life, I am going to attempt 365 days of blogging. Okay, I know this is going to be hard, so bear with me if I post one word on some days! But I am going to try to make an effort. It seems each and every day Madalyn does something more adorable than the day before. And I want to remember every special moment. Hence the effort to jot it all down in this blog.

So I need some encouragement! If you read this, sign up with blogger and leave me a comment! Its free, takes two minutes, and I want to know who is reading this dang it!

The Book (or Dad's 60th Birthday Present)

My sister and I tried so hard to come up with something to give our Dad for his 60th birthday. It was such a big birthday, and we wanted something to commemerate it appropriately. Jenna suggested a pocketwatch that we would get engraved... but I thought of a HUGE project that I just knew would make the perfect gift. A photo book.

I know photobooks are a rather overdone gift these days... but with some help from my sister I knew we could make one that would truly show our father how much his life and his love have meant to us. She did all the legwork and made a trip to my parents to dig through old photos (not an easy feat with two babies!) The best part is she did all the work while Dad was at work, so he had no idea that was the reason for her visit. I was just sad I couldnt share in the photo party with Jenna and Mom. She then took them home, and managed to scan almost 70 photos and titled all of them! We had photos from before Dad was born up until Landon's birthday, baptism and our recent summer vacation to North Carolina.

I managed to retouch some of the old images (THANK YOU PHOTOSHOP!) then loaded the into the album software that I used for clients.... and almost 40 pages later we had his gift. It just fell into place... the pictures, the layout.... and being able to see Dad at Brad's 30th birthday to give him the gift.

We had photos from my grandparents wedding, beautiful black and whites. Then some photos from his childhood, pictures of him and my Mom in their twenties... then pictures of him and our family when we were young. There was even a page of Dad's many different hairstyles (he had it long! he had it curly! he had a goatee! he had a full grown beard!)

Perhaps the best photo was one Jenna found hidden behind a framed photo of my Dad and my Uncle Bob as young children. When she took it out of the frame to scan it, she found a picture that she titled "mystery man." It was old, cracked, and faded.... but it was our Dad at about 21 with no moustache! The family joke is that my own mother wouldnt recognize Dad without a moustache because for the 30 plus years they have been together she has never once seen him without one. What a find!

I dont think I have ever been so excited about giving someone a gift before! We presented it to him before the party actually started... and as soon as he opened it and saw the wedding pictures of his parents the tears started to flow... for all of us! I've never cried when I saw someone open a gift before! That moment was one of the most beautiful moments of my entire life. His reaction was so touching. And later, he called me to tell me it was the best gift he had ever received....

I will try to post some old family pictures soon... but I wanted to share the story. I am getting goosebumps just writing this! Many thanks to Jenna and Mom for their help... I am so glad that our teamwork was able to make this birthday so special for Dad.

17 Month Photos

Another Big Girl Photo

Breakfast a few weeks ago at that Cracker Barrell. She is getting so grown up!

 

Gator Girls

During the football game last week I had the pleasure of having Savannah over to play. The girls were dressed to the nines in their Gator gear for our quick trip to Publix. As a side note, those shopping cards require 2 adults to push! They cant make the turns down any aisles....

 

 

 

 

Madalyn's Purse (Just like Mommy!)

I dont think there was ever any doubt that I would have a daughter, and a girly daughter at that. I think I knew Madalyn would be a girl from the moment that I knew I was pregnant with her. I have always loved "girly" things, and I think God knew that I would love to have a daughter to share that with. It is also so nice, because my mother in law has had all boys, and nephews, and grandsons... so a little girl was very welcomed! She loves to share her jewelry and beads with Madalyn and play "girly" games.

Madalyn is one of the most prissy babies I have ever seen. She wants so badly to be a "big girl". She loves to play with shoes, and will pull matching pairs out of my closet, put them on and then proceed to walk around the house. She loves a pair of play galoshes I have for photo shoots. She is constantly "pretenting" to put on lipstick with my chapstick, and has taken to wearing rubber bands on her wrists as bracelets and carrying a purse. It is too adorable. She loves to borrow my sunglasses and wear them to be fabulous.

I love my darling little princess. Here she is with her purse (that she threw over her shoulder when we walked out of the house) and a little bow in her hair....

 

And here she is playing in my shoes...

Look What Maddie Can Do!

Madalyn now sleeps in a "big girl" bed. After many nights of putting her to bed in her crib only to listen to her cry, cry, cry and then VOMIT we decided it was time to take the crib rail down. Yes, I said vomit. She would gag herself (I am hoping unintentionally, but who knows?!) and then vomit all over the crib, her room, and herself. This happened almost every night for two weeks straight, so finally we decided maybe she hated the crib rail. Not to mention she would pile her stuffed animals up in the corner, climb on those and then try to get out of the crib.

We made a big deal about the big girl bed, and then bought her a little princess stool to go with her bed (to help her climb in and out.) Well, Madalyn discovered all the other uses of the stool....