Week 34, house contract signed!

Well, as of tomorrow I am finished my 34th week and start my 35th! It is crazy how time is flying by. I saw the doctor yesterday and he said everything looks good... she is still head down and her "growth spurt" seems to have evened off because now I am measuring 32.5 weeks instead of 33.5. So much for Shawn's wish of a 9 pound baby! I will have another ultrasound before she is born, probably at my 36 or 37 week appointment. I go back in 2 weeks from today, at the end of my 35th week, then will see him weekly after that. Its getting close now!

We signed a contract on the house yesterday.... we actually got it for $9000 less than the asking price, and the asking price was probably $30,000 less then what they could have gotten the house sold for compared to the values in this area. The people who are selling the house are very nice and so far have made this experience very very easy for us. The lady even offered to come help paint as soon as we close so that we can get the fumes out before Madalyn is here! We meet with our mortgage guy today and then will fax the contract to Brad who is doing our legal stuff.... and our mortgage guy is one of Brad's best friends and fraternity brothers from college. It has been very nice and convienent to have people we know helping us with the details, and so far our first home buying experience has been painless and easy.

So this next month will consist of getting as much stuff together as possible while waiting for the closing date and the baby's birthday to come. As of right now we close March 31st, and should know more today after we meet with Ace. As far as I know from this point it is just the bank seeing if they want to buy the house at that much money.... and hopefully they will agree to it and everything will continue to go smoothly.

Shawn started softball season last night... he plays with some guys from work and high school out at the local sports park every Tuesday night. We didnt get home until late and were pretty exhausted since it was a long day. Today is my birthday, and other than signing the loan paperwork I dont think we have anything exciting planned. Some of my friends have called to see if we were going to do something.... but I am definitely showing my age (and the fact that Im VERY pregnant!) when I say I would be happier staying in and making dinner together then going anywhere special!

Plus what better birthday present can you ask for then buying a house with the man that you love right before your first daughter is born? I mean, really.... it doesnt get any better than this.

BIG NEWS~

Sunday morning after the baby shower we were talking with my mother about buying a house.... something we werent planning to do. But with her encouragement and some very convienent timing we decided to go by an open house one street over in our neighborhood. Both Shawn and I love our location in Gainesville, but unfortunately the houses here are a little out of our price range for right now. But we decided to take a look anyways, because it wouldnt hurt.

We are so glad that we did! The house is old... same as this one, and is laid out very similar and is a little bit bigger, plus has an enclosed porch. It needs a LOT of work... but is mostly cosmetic things like new paint and flooring. The yard is about the same size as this one and is already fenced in.... perfect for Miss Allie! The best part was the price... well within our range because it needs work, and the people are willing to negotiate the price because of the work that it needs.

So we left the open house, and I called a friend from college, Ace. He handled the financing for Jenna and Brad's first home... and I just wanted to pick his brain but turns out he took all of my information and by 4 yesterday was calling me to say that we were approved for a mortgage for the house! Last night we went back to the house for another walk through.... and then tonight we are going to make an offer and hopefully sign a contract on the house.

Apparently my birthday present this year will be buying out first home! Keep your fingers crossed that this will all work out.... and hopefully we will be closing on the house around the beginning of April. (The thought has crossed my mind that we might be signing the closing paperwork from my hospital bed while in labor with Madalyn!)

Madalyn's Baby Shower

Saturday was our baby shower..... and it was great! My sister did an awesome job of organizing everything and making everything look absolutely beautiful. It was great to see so many friends from college who made the trip up to spend the afternoon with me. I will be posting pictures very soon. We got a lot of great things for Madalyn.... lots of beautiful blankets and clothes. She is going to be so fashionable!

We had finished the nursery, so it was nice to show off all of our (Shawn's) hard work. Thanks to everyone who joined us to celebrate, and special thanks to Jenna for all of her hard work.

Week 32

Today I am 32 weeks pregnant and starting my 33rd week... that means she should be here in 7 weeks or less! Its insane how fast time has gone by. And it feels like she has moved off of my lungs a bit so I can breathe MUCH easier, at least for the time being. That makes being pregnant SO much more enjoyable... when I can take a deep breath! :)

This week we spent two days "Spring Cleaning" the house.... and Shawn worked his butt off washing baseboards and scrubbing the bathrooms and all. Our house is extremely clean now... and all disinfected for baby. Her chair came last night and Shawn put it together, so her room will be finished when we put the cabinent together. Then I will send along pictures of the completed room.

It is very very cold out tonight and the weather man says we might get snow flurries! The low is below 30 and there is some moisture in the air.... that would certainly be cool to see some snow.... but we are all bundled up inside with the heat on.

I know I need to add some belly pictures.... they are coming I promise. : )

Jamie and Beth's wedding

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31 Weeks....

Yesterday we had our 31 week doctors appointment. Wow how time flies! No ultrasound, so we can't tell how big she is, but by measuring me it seems she may have just had a growth spurt because I am measuring exactly where I should be. Dr. Muskus said that she has turned head-down, which I had figured because I feel some kicking under my ribs now which I hadnt felt before. So she is at least starting to think about making her appearance!

While I did pass my glucola test, turns out I failed the one hour portion. My sugar after 1 hour was 192 and the highest acceptable is 130! So he wont technically classify me as a gestational diabetic, I still need to watch my carbs and sugars very closely. At least I dont have to prick my finger every day! We dont eat particuarily bad to begin with... but I definitely wont be enjoying any chocolate this Valentines day! (though I AM having a piece of Publix cake at my baby shower!)

I was asking if he would check me when I got closer, to give me a guesstimate if I am starting to dilate and start thinking about when she might decide to come... and he said he usually doesnt because it is so uncomfortable. But he DID offer to induce me when it gets closer if that would work better for us... which takes a little stress off of me about having to worry about going into labor at work! We dont have to make a decision yet... but at least I have that option if thats what we choose!

We are going to a friend's wedding today at the same place we are getting married, with the same caterer, so it will be nice to see how things are set up and how it sounds and all... kind of like a trial run for our wedding. I work with the groom so there will be a lot of firefighters there as well, and a bunch of our friends are in the wedding party. Should be a good time!

Angels are everywhere

I received this as a forward from a very dear family friend... and I thought it was absolutely beautiful. Of course it made me cry, the sap that I am! But I thought I would pass it along... because it is inspirational and uplifting to think that there are people in this world who would take the time out of their day to make a difference. And even greater is the fact that this mother felt she should share... to perhaps inspire random acts of kindness by others. I am so touched.

Angels are Everywhere
"Some of you may know that our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month(8/23). The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. She dictated and I wrote:

"Dear God, Will you please take special care of our dog, Abbey? She died yesterday and is heaven. We miss her very much. We are happy that you let us have her as our dog even though she got sick. I hope that you will play with her. She liked to play with balls and swim before she got sick. I am sending some pictures of her so that when you see her in heaven you will know
she is our special dog. But I really do miss her.
Love, Meredith Claire
ps: Mommy wrote the words after Mer told them to her"

We put that in an envelope with 2 pictures of Abbey, and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Mer stuck some stamps on the front (because, as she said, it may take lots of stamps to get a letter all the way to heaven) and that afternoon I let her drop it into the letterbox at the post office.
For a few days, she would ask if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had. Yesterday, for Labor Day, we took the kids to
Austin to a natural history museum. When we got back, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch. Curious, I went tolook at it. It had a gold star card on the front and said "To: Mer" in an unfamiliar hand.

Meredith took it in and opened it. Inside was a book by
Mr. Rogers, When a Pet Dies. Taped to the inside front
cover was the letter we had written to God, in its opened envelope(which was marked Return to Sender:
> Insufficient address). On the opposite page, one of the pictures of Abbey was taped under the words "For Meredith." We turned to the back cover, and there was the other picture of Abbey,and this handwritten note on pink paper:

"Dear Mer,
I know that you will be happy to know that Abbey arrived safely and soundly in Heaven! Having the pictures you sent to me was such a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.You know, Meredith, she isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with
me--just like she stays in your heart--young and running and playing. Abbey loved being your dog, you know. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets!-- so I can't keep your beautiful
letter. I am sending it to you with the pictures so that you will have this book to keep and remember Abbey.
One of my angels is taking care of this for me. I hope the little book helps. Thank you for the beautiful letter. Thank your mother for sending it. What a wonderful mother you have! I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I am in heaven and wherever there is love.
Love,
God, and the special angel who wrote this after God told her the words."

As a parent and a pet lover, this is one of the kindest things that I've ever experienced. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is somevery kind soul working in the dead letter office. Just wanted to share this act of compassion :)

Learning to practice what I preach

Well I guess it is time to practice what I preach. I never thought I would have to listen so closely to something like that, but I do now, because I dont honestly think my heart can handle anymore.

"When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left."

So much easier to say and think about doing than to actually do. Especially when you are seven and a half months pregnant and on an emotional roller coaster, sometimes its hard to not sweat the small stuff. Now the rational Jaime knows to just let it go, that the writing is on the wall, that people change and move on and that its time to just look past it. But the Jaime that really misses her friends, and misses the people who used to mean so much to her has a really hard time doing that.

I know I am lucky. I have friends who have survived cancer, who have overcome so many difficult obstacles, who are in places that they dont deserve to be in... and I have the greatest admiration and respect for those people for being who they are today. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont thank God for all that I have, and for bringing Shawn and I together and showing me what life is all about. I dont miss the parties and the clubs and the wild and crazy life... but I do miss having a girlfriend to call when I am sad or lonely or just need someone to be there for me. Shawn is wonderful, but not the person that I need when I am having a "girly moment."

This pregnancy, while a beautiful blessing and a gift, has brought me the greatest challenge that I have ever had to face. Not to mention losing the freedom of being able to do my job on the ambulance and being stuck in an office all day, possibly facing knee surgery, going to school full time and teaching almost full time hours on my days off. I am doing a lot and that makes me happy, but sometimes I get overwhelmed and just need a friend to talk to. I hate feeling like a burden to those around me when I need a pick-me-up. They say it takes a village to raise a child... and I think it takes a strong support system to go through pregnancy. So losing part of that support system at the time when I need them most has been incredibly devastating. And at the time in my life where I feel the least like myself I am forced to try and trust new people, something that I am very NOT good at after years of trusting the wrong people.

Last night I think was the lowest I have felt.... and the saddest I can remember being. It was like the wind was completely taken out of my sail... and I know I shouldnt let it bother me, shouldnt stress about things that I cant change... but I cant help it. I am a person, I have a heart, and it was absolutely broken by someone I thought was at least in some way a friend.

There is this person I have been friends with for years... and when I say years I mean since I had just turned 21. That person and I had seen each other through everything... and I thought was one of those friendships that is lifelong and lasting. Since December we have been growing apart, and on several occasions I have asked her if I had done something to upset her, or if there was something wrong. And each time I was told that she was just busy... and I chalked it up to me being hypersensitive due to hormones. Turns out I was wrong... and maybe the writing was on the wall then and I should have paid attention and avoided being hurt. But I didnt...

My friend Kevin was having a Super Bowl party and he asked it we wouldnt mind having it here, and I thought that would be a great idea.... so we invited some more people since there was now more room for people at my place. And everyone we invited called and wanted to know why I wasnt going to my friend's house for her party. Trivial I know... but the reason why I wasnt going was I knew nothing about it. I had so obviously not been invited that it was like a slap in the face. I just very calmly told people that I wasnt going because I wasnt invited, and no, I didnt know why... we hadnt had a fight that I knew of... but I understood if they went and didnt come here and to have fun. This person herself even sent me a text message and told me that she couldnt come, that she had other plans. I just sent her a text back that I knew... and for her to have fun.

I was absolutely crushed. And the rational Jaime tried to talk myself through it... to say you cant make people be your friend, and that if this is the way it is then thats life. I KNOW I have an amazing family, and amazing friends.... and I am so lucky and greatful for that. But there still isnt much you can to do prepare yourself for that knife in the heart, punch in the gut feeling that you get when you realize that you have lost someone who was very important to you. The rational part of me says call her, write her... figure out where it all went wrong because it is silly to throw away 6 years of friendship.... but I guess I am not the one throwing it all away. And I honestly dont think my heart can take anymore.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

Thank God for Shawn... for he is the one who shows me that I am better off without people like that in my life... and he can put his arms around me when I cry and tell me that it will all be okay and I have so much more now. And I know that I do and that I shouldnt cry and that I shouldnt be sad. But sometimes I just cant help it...