Day 32: Happy Halloween!

Short and sweet because I am off to bed. The extent of Madalyn's Trick or Treating tonight was in our home and next door... but she DID have fun in her costume handing out candy. I dont think she "got" it this year. What she DID get is that by saying "Trick or Treat" she would be handed a piece of candy.... and she LOVED that! She was Tinkerbell, and hopefully by tomorrow I will be able to upload a few photos from this evening. She really liked her costume, especially the fairy wings!3

Day 31: God Knew What He Was Doing

God knew what He was doing when He gave me a daughter. For moments like these.

Madalyn is coming to help me on a photoshoot this evening before I go in to work. So we took a shower and got dressedm and I brushed her hair. She wanted to brush mine. So I told her when I finished with hers she could do mine. She climbed on the couch next to me, and started combing through my hair. Then she turned my head towards hers, and kissed me right on the lips.

I love her.

Day 30: Getting Caught Up

I am exhausted but I am up trying to get some business related work done... I *may* have a big announcment on here related to a huge opportunity for my photography, but I am not going to say anything until I know more details.

And BTW when I say I have exciting news it doenst necessarily mean I am pregnant! (Ahem Jenna!) For the record I am not pregnant, and not planning to be pregnant any time soon!

Its been COLD outside today.... BRRRRRR!!! Our new insulation in the attic has helped tremendously... so far have only had to put on our little space heater. But we have had 2 consecutive nights in the 30s.... whew! Might have to rethink the Tinkerbell costume! :)

I am going to wrap this up.... I am extremely tired and got home not too long ago from Jacksonville... I drove there for a photoshoot today.

Day 26,27,28,29 Where Did the Time Go?

I feel like I have LIVED on an ambulance the last few days. Friday I had the busiest shift EVER.... as in 25 calls in 24 hours. It was CRAZY! Whew... then after about 40 minutes of sleep I packed everything up and headed to another station to finish my 48 hour shift. Why do trades always seem like a good idea at the time I do them, and are so bad when it comes time to actually work them? I guess a long time ago back in August I enjoyed a day off I had to pay back this crazy weekend. And by crazy I mean INSANE! I ran almost 40 calls in 2 days! Then came home yesterday, crashed until almost noon, ran some errands, came home and was totally worthless. I didnt want to do anything!! And all Madalyn wanted to do was play with me, and I felt so bad because I was WAY too tired to do that!

Friday morning she broke my heart when I took her to Nana Swanson's to drop her off.... she cried! When I handed her over she reached back out to me and said "mammmmaaaaa" and cried! I about broke down myself.... and I had to leave her like that! My own mom said she was just trying to make me feel guilty (mission accomplished! it worked!)

So today I was prepared for the worst... and when Nana opened the door she yelled "Nana!!" and was all excited. So that made me feel better....

And today I am back at work, and realized quickly why I need 2 days off in between shifts.... my patience is nill when I am tired.

I should be sleeping.. usually I wait until 2 am for sleep (when the bars close.) I hate getting up and down...

It's COLD here BTW..... I can see my breath! I was actually shivering on our last call! Maybe its winter?! All I know is that Madalyn might have to rethink her costume for Friday if this weather keeps up! ;)

Day 25:Gloomy Day

Why is it that gloomy, overcast days make you want to stay in your pyjamas all day and do absolutely nothing? Thats what I did today. Well, the pyjamas anyway. I couldn't possibly do nothing... I got all of my paperwork up to date for the business which took some time. And then I edited photos (still working on the ones from this past weekend!) I have to work a 48 hour shift tomorrow and Friday. Is it wrong that I am praying the rain sticks around so there wont be as many drunk partiers for Homecoming? (Yes I love the Gators, but I do not so much love those who have to get drunk and obnoxious to celebrate loving the Gators.)

Madalyn was happy to hang out in her PJs today as well... we had a pyjama party. As I type this she is attempting to take off her diaper with her shorts still on. This is getting to be a problem. She is SO ready to start potty training... she hates her diapers.

The little bugger napped until almost 7 this evening! So Im sure she wont be ready for bed when I am ready for bed in half an hour!

Day 22, 23, 24: I Am A Slacker

I admit it, I have been so busy juggling everything else that I have been slacking about posting in my personal blog! It never ceases to amaze me that I can be so constantly busy that I feel like I never get anything accomplished!

This morning I had some of my coworkers over for coffee and a constructive meeting to see how to address some of the major issues at work. If nothing else it served as a forum for me to see that I am not the only one having major issues with some of the things happening at work and the way we are treated by our administration. I have spoken with my supervisor who did my evaluation and he admits that my evaluation was a bit harsh (to say the least) and he was under the impression that my firefighter had been my subordinate for a year (which I had him for 12 weeks before the evaluations were due and thus should not have been judged on his performance entirely) We will be having a meeting next week to discuss some changes to my evaluation.

Madalyn is growing bigger every day... and even more vocal! She talks constantly and is never afraid to share what is on her mind! She has become very attached to me since Shawn went back to work and is now my little shadow every day, and she is always anxious to "help" around the house. I should take a picture now to show her when she is older how badly she wanted to be able to load the dishwasher and sweep the floor!

Shawn is linking work and comes home very tired and leaves much earlier than any human should have to be awake! But the extra income is a HUGE relief and it was nice to be able to go to the grocery store and buy enough food for a week instead of doing it day by day.

We are starting back on Dave Ramsey's money management plan on November 1st. The plan is amazing and works really well when you have things to pay off, and just shows you on paper where your money is going. We would like to be debt free sometime in the next year or so (except for our mortgage and the car payments.) So we will be sticking every penny into savings that we can.

My business is really taking off which is great, and I have lots of shoots booked! I went to Orlando last weekend for some shoots and am working on editing those right now. Check out my new blog jlsphotoblog.com for some photos, and please leave comments! I will be posting several old sessions in the next few days as I got behind waiting to get the new blog up and running!

Day 20 and 21: What a Weekend~

Its been a whirlwind! We left last night for a trip to Orlando. We of course stayed up too late visiting with Jeff and Casey, and 7 am came way too early for me! I had shoots starting at 8 in Orlando, and that lasted until 12 when I left one site and went to another, finishing up around 4:30. Oh, and had to stop at IKEA (an experience in and of itself to say the least!) So it has been long and crazy... busy busy busy and now I have 5 shoots to edit this week! But it was great fun to see Jeff and Casey, and Helene and Jim as well as visit with one of my favorite families from shoots in July!

But for now, off to bed....

Days 18 and 19

Im going to have to combine these two days. Instead of posting yesterday, I made a new and improved blog for JLS Photography! The new site is www.jlsphotoblog.com. It is still a work in progress, but please update your links to the new site. I will be posting quite a few sneak peeks on there in the days to come, so stay tuned! And please leave me a comment... I love reading them, and it means so much to me!

In other news, Shawn has survived 2 weeks at his new job! YAY! He really likes it, and it seems that there is a lot of room for advancement there, which is nice. And let me tell you how wonderful it was to get paid today knowing there was another check coming in next week.... SIGH OF RELIEF! We went to Sams tonight and bought all of the things we used to be able to stock up on but have been living without, or buying when needed. It was so wonderful.

We spent the evening hanging out with our neighbors which was nice.... and Madalyn and I had lots of fun today! We spent the early morning taking pictures of my friend Lorrie's expanding belly... she is due November 5th with baby #2. (Its a surprise for Daddy... Mommy already knows.) Her daughter Kaela is turning 2 in December, so Madalyn had a wonderful time playing with her! Then we went with Lorrie and Kaela to the park, where we met up with Julie, Ben and Rosemary to play fow awhile. The girls all had fun, and Ben fell asleep in his Baby Bjorn while the Mommies talked. Then Madalyn and I went to Weecycle to sell some of her clothes, then home to clean up the messy house. We had lots of fun.... its fun to spend days like that with my daughter.

Whew what a Friday!

Day 17: Pumpkin Patch

As promised, some pictures from the pumpkin patch. This was such a lot of fun... and truly a great family evening out. Madalyn was extremely excited to see the rows and rows of pumpkins and loved running around and crawling all over them. And it was fun to have a great backdrop for a photoshoot of my own child for a change!

Day 16: Wooo Hooo 2000 hits!

Today I logged in to write for the evening and noticed I had 2000 hits! Yay! I only put the hit counter up less than 5 months ago... so thats pretty impressive.

Today we went to the pumpkin patch (see day 15 for some photos!) I got tons of Madalyn pictures, thanks to Nana and Papa and Daddy helping out. She had a lot of fun and even went into the bounce house with Papa. I dont think she knew what to make of it at first, but she seemed to have fun jumping up and down.

This weekend Maddie and I are taking a girls only trip to Orlando to see Uncle Jeff, Aunt Casey, Josh and soon to be newest Swanson, as well as Helene, Jim and Alana. I have several photoshoots booked which is awesome, and I think Friday night we are going to take Maddie and Josh to a fall festival. Saturday Nana and Papa are coming down to play as well. Shawn, bless his heart, is going to stay here and work on Saturday then Sunday will be painting a deck for some extra cash. He is such a hard worker!

I will be posting many more photos from the pumpkin patch as I go through them... stay tuned!
And keep reading... I'd love 2500 hits by Christmas!

Day 15: Blogger Unavailable

This is what I got when I went to post yesterday....

Sorry, way too tired to deal with waiting!

So, instead today I will post a photo!
Blogger is currently unavailable
Blogger is unavailable right now. We apologize for this interruption in service

Day 14: I Know Why It is Called "Work"

*** Let me preface this by saying I love my chosen profession. I DO, however, quite dislike my place of employment. ***

I am in a crappy mood as I write this, mostly because I am sick and tired of the same crap from my place of employment. I recently had a partner that began using illegal substances to bolster his body building training, and he put me through a lot. It was a challenege to have him as a subordniate to say the least, and unfortunately right now I do not have a direct supervisor to help me deal with things.

I was contacted by another supervisor and asked to make sure that my partner's evaluation reflected his work attitude. He had had a few confrontations with various supervisors over the last few months (pretty much all females by the way!) One night he kicked in a door at our station after it locked behind him, and I told him to write an incident report on it. He said he would, and never did. So I got written up over the door, and he got nothing. Its just a letter in my file.... but it gets me that he doesnt get in trouble for not obeying an order, only I get in trouble because I didnt make sure it was done. (Which I completely accept responsibility for... however.... we ran 8 calls in 10 hours and I was exhausted, had reports to do, and after asking him 3 times to make sure it was done I just kind of forgot about it.)

So today, I get my evaluation and it is horrible! There lots of nice things to say about me as a paramedic.... never had any QA issues, never had any patient complaits... does the job well, always informs my supervisor of things... but apparantly my "failure to control my subordinate" (hello?! he was doing ILLEGAL DRUGS!) leaves me in the bad supervisor category. The other place they docked me a lot of points... my attendance- BECAUSE I just had to use 48 hours of sick leave for my broken finger that occurred ON DUTY! Shouldnt that be illegal? It was bad enough that I had to use my own leave tim because of the F%&^ED up way this department handles workers comp injuries... but then to give me a 1 out of 10 for attendance for that? For the rest of the year I only had used 60 hours of sick leave and one was for my father in law having open heart surgery and the rest I had notes for all of them. 60 hours in a year of 24 hour shifts is very low on the sick leave scale compared to my coworkers. At least I dont call in sick to go hunting or watch a NASCAR race! And there was a note on there that I had to use leave without pay for a sick day, which was an accounting screw up on behalf of the department (they docked me 48 hours for the same shift when I broke my finger.) The department screwed up... not me.... and they had to credit me back the hours. But now the stupid person doing my evaluation (who isnt even my direct supervisor by the way!) gives me that on an evaluation.

I am so sick over this... I am so tired over this... I honestly feel like I was set up. I was contacted by two chiefs when it came time for my ex partner's evaluation and they spoke with me regarding things that had happened with him, then used that as ammunition against me after they got me to say what they wanted on his evaluation. The kicker to this whole thing.... My former partner's evaluation was better than mine! He was the one who did all the stuff in the first place!

I guess I need to just stop caring, and perhaps this is just one more sign that this is not what I am meant to be doing. I hate everything about this place.... the way it is run, the way they treat the employees... and I was sadly, sadly mistaken when I thought that this career was about helping people.

I think I am going to file a grievance over the evaluation, especially because the sick leave hours counted against me was workers comp and the leave without pay was an accounting screwup that got fixed.... I just am so exhausted I dont even know if it is worth the fight.

The evaluation doesnt count for anything... we arent getting a raise this year (usually 1/2 of our 6% raise is merit based) so its really a joke. But next year, when I have a new supervisor finally, I dont want them to pull my previous evaluations and see a bad one. (My other ones have all been above average and excellent!)

I think it bothers me the most becasue of all the things I do, I do a great job. They are just counting me down because I had issues with a freaking Roidhead.

Sorry for the venting. Needed to get it out there.

Day 13: Gator Game

Wooo hoo go gators! I had photo shoots all day, then rushed home to get ready to work the Gator game... so needless to say it was a crazy evening for me.

But the gators won! YAY!

Day 12: A Sad One

In reference to a long, long ago post that sparked some debate on my blog, to say the very least. Our dear friend Brian shot someone in self defense in 2005. After almost 18 months, the case was brought to trial in 2006 and he was found guilty of second degree murder. The conviction was startling to all of us, because he was in a terrible situation and the guy came after him and attacked him in his car, and Brian shot him as a means of defending himself. You can read about the aftermath of this conviction

Brian has been in prison for 2 years this month. It has been heartbreaking to his friends and his family, most of all his darling girlfriend Amber who has been by his side through the entire thing.

Brian recently faced the District Court of Appeals and his story was heard. Today, he learned that they did not overturn his conviction, and they denied his appeal.

It has been a sad day for all who love Brian, because it is difficult to see truly evil people roam free while a good hearted man is behind bars for defending himself. Brian and I went to Paramedic school together, and he is a man who loves helping people. It has been awful for him to be penned up with murderers for these last two years.

Please read Brian's story, and please keep him and his friends in families in your prayers tonight. This has been a difficult evening for all of us...

Day 11: I Said I Would Do It, So I Am Here

I am in the middle of finals for 2 classes, something that I hope readers understand more than some other people in my life. So here is Day 11, bogged down with schoolwork that I have not been able to get much accomplished on all week. My "normal" schoolwork time is while at work, between 12 and 2 am because I stay up until the bars let out. But since I have been home this week, havent had uninterrupted quiet time to get much accomplished and now I have until 5:30 tomorrow to take a final and do a project. Wish me luck, and next time I post I will be in a much better mood.

Day 10: Eighteen Months Old!

My dearest, darling Madalyn-
Today as I write this you have turned eighteen months. What a grown up age you have reached, and you remind me many times each day how you are your own little person and not a baby anymore. I hate to break it to you though, you will be 60 and I will still call you my baby.

Each day you amaze me in a different way. The words you speak, the phrases you put together, the games you play to amuse yourself. And of course, you are just like a typical toddler- full of the devil! But just when I want to throw my arms up in frustration, you look at me with this big toothy grin and squinty-eyed smile and I cant help but fall in love with you all over again.

You give hugs now, and let me tell you that there is no other feeling that can compare you you wrapping your arms around me. You will rub me on the arm or the back, or plant a kiss on my cheek when I least expect it and my heart will melt.

You have been a Daddy's girl from day one, there is no denying that. But there is nothing more special then me being able to see that bond develop between the two of you. You want to be like me, but you want so much to impress him. You want to dress up, wear jewelry and makeup, but you do it all so that you can flirt with your Daddy like a big girl. All those little boys better watch out because you are going to be quite the heartbreaker!

And just as soon as you get your "lipstick" (chapstick) on, you are ready to go out in the mud and show them what you are made of. For as much as you are a little girly girl, you are equally as much a little tomboy. You love to get dirty, to eat sand and play with the worms in the dirt. You love to throw balls and have even learned to kick them thanks to Daddy's little soccer lessons. And nothing brings you greater job and more laughter then chasing around Allie and Ava in the backyard.

You are quite smart, little one, and I love to see your mind work. You hear the refrains from Sesame Street come on in the mornings and you come running with the biggest smile to dance to the opening song. When we sing our A B Cs you watch my mouth as I form the letters so that you can try and sing along. Your favorite song is the one from Sesame Street this is on pretty much every other episode "Sing A Song." If that song comes on you dont hesitate to sing and dance along. And dance you will! You can shake your booty to the music, bob your head along and twirl. We leave music on all day and you love to dance to the various songs.

Right now you are curled up next to me on the couch. I know it is past your bedtime but I take comfort in cuddling with you right now, and in a few minutes you are going to resist when I try to put you to bed. This has been quite the battle lately, and it breaks my heart because as much as I need you to sleep alone in your bed, part of me misses having you curled up beside me as we sleep. There used to be a time when you loved to cuddle all the time, now you are much too independent to want to sit with Mommy all the time!

I love you Madalyn Jean, and my life has been so blessed since the moment I learned you would be a part of it. I loved you before I even met you, and there is no greater love than that of a mother for her daughter. Thank you for being the light in my life, and thank you for sharing these 18 months of joy and laughter with me and your father. '

Happy eighteen month birthday, darling!

Much Love,
Your Mommy

Day 9: Crying It Out Big Girl Style

I hate the idea of crying it out. Sure, it SEEMS like a good plan, and Shawn is FINE with it, but as a mother it breaks my heart to listen to my daughter cry and not go help her. We had several bouts of crying it out when Madalyn got old enough to realize that there were things going on after she went to bed. It really hurt me to do it... and this only got worse when she started with the gagging herself and throwing up every night.

We had to take the crib rail down in her bed because our monkey daughter learned to crawl up the sides with her little feet. I caught her several times trying to escape (at 16 months! I didnt think we would face that until 2 at least!) I know she isnt old enough to really "get" staying in her bed, but I would rather deal with that then have her get a concussion from falling off the top of the crib.

So down came the rail, and now we have a huge dilemma. Madalyn wants to sleep with Mommy. Not as much Daddy, because supposedly she sleeps though the night when I am at work. So when Mommy is home she gets her 2 - 3 hours of sleep when we are up and about, then she has an internal alarm that goes off when we go to bed. No, we arent waking her up by being noisy, because we sneak into bed to keep from waking her up! She must sense us back there... who knows. Just as we will settle into bed we will here the pitter patter of little feet and then "mama? mama?" as she comes into the room.

I gave in the other night. I actually brought her back to bed and laid with her (yes I curled up in her crib size bed!) but she just wanted to play. For 2 hours! So VERY early Monday morning at 1 am I gave up and brought her into bed. She was asleep within 3 minutes! So LAST night the same thing happened, and I was dead set against her coming to bed with us. So we both tried to get her back to bed... with no luck. Everytime we would leave she would pop up her head and cry. So then... we just had to put the baby gate up. She of course came to the gate and cried and screamed... and we just had to let her cry it out.

It was awful... for about 15 minutes! Then she finally gave up, crawled into bed, pulled her Tinkerbell blankie around her, and went to sleep. She slept through the night until Shawn got up at 5 for work. (Yes 5! He has to work at 6:30!) He took the gate down, and she got up around 5:30 ish and same into the room. My rule (okay, my new rule) is that she is welcome after 5:30 AM because if she had her way that would be the daily wake up time. She slept with me in bed until 8 am when she woke up. I keep a baby book by the bed, so I can hand it to her in the morning and keep her busy. She "read" her A B C book for about half an hour.... (WOOO HOOOO SLEEPING IN!)

So we shall see how it goes... bed times are so difficult. I hate them. I wish we could go from playtime to asleep without all the drama in between. I feel like I am hurting her when I leave her at bedtime!

Day 8: Doesnt It Make You Want Another?

I had a newborn shoot today, and Miss Lillian is the darling daughter of my first maternity session. She is two weeks old and was so cute... and I definitely got my baby fix for awhile! I got lots of cuddling and feeding time... I think Mom was happy for the break. And we got lots of cute photos! These are a few from the session... they are a little distorted because I tried to resize them for this blog template. But I wanted to share how absolutely darling this sleepy baby was.



And for more baby news, Im going to be an Aunt again! No, Jenna is NOT PREGNANT (at least not that I know of!) But my sister in law Casey is 9 weeks pregnant. She has had a rough time in the past with miscarriages in the first trimester, and has had several before 8 weeks so making it to 9 with this one is a good sign! Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers over these next few weeks, as so far all signs point to a healthly baby for her and Jeff.

Day 7: Not a Day of Rest!

WHEW it was a long day today! We decided to add insulation to the attic, which was quite a project that involved emptying the attic, laying the insulation (Shawn's job not mine!) and then putting everything back. But we did get to go through boxes and boxes of stuff and get rid of some junk we had stored for no reason. Then we cleaned the shed and the carport... and finally the house is starting to look good!

Shawn starts work tomorrow, bright and early.... so there will be some changes around the Swanson house! I think it will be good for him to rejoin the "adult" world!

Just some pictures.... Madalyn eating a graham cracker. Nothing too exciting, but if she is busy with food she actually looks at the camera! I did them grainy on purpose, just to make them a little more interesting.











And I call this one why you always go running when you hear Maddie saying "no! no!" because usually it means she is doing something she knows she isnt allowed to. Like climbing into a shelf. :)

Day 6: In the Gardens

I am going to start this before I leave for photoshoots at Kanapaha Botanical Gardens. I have a bunch of pictures to post, just random snapshots from the last few days. I will probably add some to yesterday's post so today's isnt so overloaded with pictures! :)

Okay update here. I had 4 shoots today, and 2 last minute cancellations and then a no show. I know I shouldnt let this get to me, but it was annoying to go somewhere and wait for someone to show up that didnt. I have a phone and make sure everyone has my number.... I went for some retail therapy on the way home and took advantage of a baby-free hour. I bought a basket for the living room to put her toys in. Note here: as babies get bigger so do their toys! Hers didnt fit in the little canvas bin anymore and I cant stand having them all over the place all the time!

So I got home rather bummed, and still had to be back at Kanapaha for a shoot this evening. I dont charge a deposit for people as of now, but it looks like I might have to, especially if I am paying a sitter to watch Madalyn. But I hate for good customers to have to pay for the mistakes of others... but there is pretty much no way around it.

When I got home I was in a crabby mood to say the least... and here is why I love my husband. He totally cheered me up. After cleaning out our attic all day (YES I did say cleaning out our attic! We will be adding insulation soon to help to combat our $500 electric bill!) he was extemely tired.... and I jokingly said a photoshoot with my daughter might cheer me up. I dont get to take many "real" photos of Madalyn becuse it is a 2 person job and for some reason it is like pulling teeth to get an hour of cooperation from him for photos. But he shocked me and said he didnt mind helping me today... so we packed up the baby and headed to Kanapaha an hour and a half early for my shoot.

We walked around, and Madalyn was really more interested in pushing her own stroller then she was posing for photos, but I did manage a few cute ones. I will be posting them soon. Regardless of if I got ANY photos, it was an extremely nice thing for Shawn to do. Then they just walked the grounds and checked out the flowers while I had my session.

So all in all, the day was great! And check out the pictures on Day 5 of the new car!
EDITED AGAIN TO ADD: I uploaded some photos after all. I only got to 3 of them, but these were the ones that jumped out at me. I am playing with some differnet conversions in my photo editing.... so tell me what you think!

And keep the comments coming! I LOVE them!

Day 5: Whew, a long one!

We have been crazy busy trying to get all the loose ends tied up around the house before Shawn goes to work on Monday. So it was time for a massive Fall cleaning. I also moved Maddie's "big girl" room around (and added some Tinkerbell stickers as well!) She loves it.

Madalyn has become quite bossy to the dogs, which is quite entertaining. She is constantly telling them "no!" and "move!" They actually listen to her. Allie is so great with her... no matter how much Madalyn crawls all over her, pulls her ears, and bounces on her belly, she still puts up with it!

Day 4: God Opens a Window

The phone call came around 11:30, while I was waiting for Shawn to get back from having his car towed home. It was Sandvich Industries, wanting to schedule an interview! The guy was free that afternoon, so I made Shawn an appointment for 2:30. He came home with the Jeep, showered and was out the door again.

He called me on the way home and sounded optimistic.... then had a phone call on the other line. It was Sandvich, offering him a job! Not just any job, but one with lots of room for advancement... and starting salary at 3/4 of what I make! Things can only go up from here, but it looks like we will have more than enough money to live comfortably.

Praise the Lord.

We went to dinner with his parents to celebrate, and they offered a gracious gift. They would help us with a car! His Dad offered to pay the down payment and help us get a vehicle for Shawn to get back and forth to work in. Shawn and I are both so lucky to have such wonderful parents that can and will help us when we need it.

So now, we have an absolutely beautiful 2007 Saturn Vue sitting in the driveway. It is black with grey interior and is GREAT on gas mileage which will be nice for Shawn traveling back and forth to Alachua each day.

Shawn starts his new job on Monday, so this is his last weekend of "freedom!" I took next week off of work to be there to help make the adjustment a little easier for Madalyn. So we are swapping roles me as a stay at home mommy (temporarily!) and him working. It will be quite an interesting week!

Day 3: When God Closes A Door....

ALSO KNOWN AS "WE ARE TRULY BLESSED!"

If you had spoken to me last Monday you would have witnessed me about as low as I have been in a long time. I felt like we had hit a brick wall, an ending, a dead end. Shawn has been in the job search now since January with nothing promising on the horizon. Every time we thing something will pan out it fizzles as soon as we start to get excited about it. For about a month he was doing handyman stuff at Aquatropics (our saltwater fish store) and during that time I took the extra money we had and tried to pay off some bills (I should have set it aside for a rainy day!) Just as quickly, the revenue at the store dropped thanks to our wonderful economy. (apparantly people dont see saltwater fish as a necessity!) So just as quickly Shawn ended up with less hours and less pay, so cthat didnt quite pan out the way we wanted.

So back to last Monday. It was the most stressed I had been about everything. My job just doesnt make enough to cover the bills right now (thanks to the increase in gas, and a $200 increase in our utilities over the last year!)So I have been praying for some sort of job, something that would allow him to make enough money where we can at least pay all the bills!

In the midst of all of this, Shawn's car has broken down, so we have been sharing mine. He has been driving me back and forth to work every day and we have been planning as many things as we can per trip to save gas. His car has sat for awhile, waiting on a "friend" to come and help us fix it. I say the word "friend" here loosely, because Shawn has done a lot of work for him with the understanding if we needed any work done on the Jeep he would be here to help him with the car.

Well, after nine weeks of waiting for the guy to come fix the Jeep, we finally had it towed to a mechanic. And the news was not good. It was going to be $2000 to rebuild the transmission. Money that we did not have, but Shawn needed a car if he was going to get a job. It was a sad day in the Swanson house. Then Monday morning Shawn met his mother at the mechanic to have AAA tow the car back to our house, which was to be its final resting place. I felt as low as I can remember feeling, not knowing which way to turn. And I just asked God, please show us as way out of this. We have done all we can, now its time for You to intervene....